Friday, July 15, 2011

I'm Confused.. Am I on an Online Dating Site or an Online Hook-up Site?

I'm sure that everyone knows at least one person who has met their 'soul mate' on an online dating site.  Perhaps it's those success stories, though seemingly few and far between, that keep drawing people back in.  I'm not so proud to say that I am one of those people who was lured back in, with dreamy aspirations of meeting my prince charming, as he rides in on his white steed, swooping me up and we ride off into Never Never Land.  Obviously, I need a strong dose of reality, because it's become quite clear in the past few days, that all there seems to be out there are frogs, or more accurately, toads.. with gigantic warts.. and I know that if you dared to kiss them, they WOULD NOT turn into a prince..

To be fair, there have been a few guys that have emailed a few times that so far, appear not to be axe murderers or toads.. of course, bear in mind that I haven't actually met any of them in person yet, so I guess that still remains to be seen.  At any rate, I'm just thankful for the little bit of normal conversations I've had with them.  However, for every 'normal' guy that messages me, there are at least 10 not normal guys.  For those who aren't great with math, that's only a ratio of 10:1.  Clearly, the numbers are stacked against me.  Below are some messages I received from one of the NOT normal guys earlier tonight.  Caution: you may be disturbed by what you are about to read.. okay, not really.. you'll probably just laugh, like I did.. after the initial shock wore off..

Mr. Toad(not his real name, of course, I'm sure you knew this already)
You wanna bump uglies?

Me, after I read it, and reread it about fifteen times...
Are you serious???

Mr. Toad:
I'm serious, are you?(he asks 'are you?' like I was the one that asked him the question??)

No, I'm most definitely NOT serious.  I'm offended actually.  Do I look like I'm the kind of girl that would 'bump uglies'(as you so eloquently put it), and no need to mention the fact that I DO NOT know you and that my first contact with you before now, has been on the internet..

If you Google it, I'm sure you will find that there are other sites out there that are much more suited to what you are looking for.. just saying.

I think he must have taken my advice to heart and started Googling, because oddly enough, he never responded to my last message...